The Apology You Never Got: How Emotional Wounds Trigger IBS and Chronic Stomach Pain

Your Gut Remebers: How the Apology You Never Received Is Still Making you Sick

There are wounds that break skin…and there are wounds that break silence.

Most women carry at least one wound from an apology they never received — the “I’m sorry” that would have softened your childhood, validated your pain, or told you that what you lived through wasn’t your fault.

For some, it’s a mother who hurt you but never acknowledged it.

For others, a father who was absent or present in all the wrong ways.

A partner who broke your trust.A friend who betrayed you.

A teacher, a sibling, a family member, a person who should have protected you.

And when the apology never comes, the body doesn’t just forget.The body stores the unfinished story.

And for many women, that story settles right in the gut.

Welcome to the truth no one told you:

Your IBS might not just be irritation.Your chronic stomach pain might not just be functional.Your gut may be carrying an emotional burden your heart was never allowed to release.

🌿 Why the Gut Holds the Things You Never Said Out Loud

Dr. Gabor Maté says:

“The body will express what the mind suppresses.”

In women, the gut becomes a diary.

It records:

• the boundary you couldn’t set

• the anger you swallowed

• the hurt you minimized

• the fear you were taught to ignore

• the apology you begged for silently but never received

  
  

The enteric nervous system is deeply sensitive to emotional injury. When you live in chronic hypervigilance, people-pleasing, or emotional neglect, the gut stays clenched, guarded, waiting.

That tension, over years, becomes:

• IBS

• chronic abdominal pain

• constipation

• diarrhea

• nausea

• painful flares during stress

• mysterious symptoms no doctor can fully explain

  
  

It’s not “in your head.”It’s in your history.

💔 The Apology That Could Have Changed Everything

Let me ask you gently:

What is one apology you wish you had received?

Take a breath and think about it.

For many women, the apology needed is not dramatic. It’s simple:

• “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

• “I should have protected you.”

• “You deserved better.”

• “I didn’t see your pain, and I’m sorry.”

• “You didn’t imagine it.”

• “It wasn’t your fault.”

  
  

The absence of apology forces the brain to hold the pain alone.The gut becomes the storage unit.

🌱 But Here’s the Hope: Your Body Wants to Heal

Healing doesn’t require the person to change.It requires you to stop carrying their silence.

You don’t need their apology to heal —you just need to acknowledge that you deserved one.

Better yet, give your younger self the apology she needed.

✍️ A Gentle Healing Exercise

Write a letter beginning with:

“The apology I deserved was…”

Let yourself say everything your body has been holding.Your gut will unclench with every word you release.

You are not being dramatic.You are not exaggerating.You are finally listening to the part of you that never had a voice.

For me... I never recieved the apology but here is what I wish I recieved from my mother.

Dear daughter “I am so sorry for the ways I hurt you.

You were a child, and I put burdens on your small shoulders that were never yours to carry.

I let my own anger, exhaustion, and unhealed wounds spill onto you, and you paid the price for pain that belonged to me — not you.

You deserved protection, not fear.

You deserved guidance, not punishment.

You deserved a childhood, not responsibilities that stole pieces of it away.

I am sorry for every moment you felt alone, scared, or unseen.

You did nothing wrong.

You were never the problem.

I should have loved you better, held you softer, and kept you safe.

I’m sorry, truly.”

🤍 If This Spoke to You… You Are Not Alone

Women in every corner of the world are silently living with stomach pain that is really emotional pain.

Here at Hear Her Heal, your story matters.Your truth is valid.Your healing is possible.

Share your story in the comments — or write to me privately.

Your voice could be the beginning of someone else’s healing.

With love and compassion

Share • Be Heard • Heal

Dr. Su