Before It Becomes Chronic: The Quiet Warnings Hiding in Your Daughter’s Stomach

IBS in girls is often linked to emotional stress, trauma, and chronic people-pleasing. When girls suppress emotions and try to stay “perfect,” their nervous systems become dysregulated, triggering gut symptoms like stomach pain, heartburn, nausea, or vomiting—even without any abnormal lab results.

When I look back on my teen years, the signs were there. They weren’t loud. They didn’t come with flashing lights or dramatic collapses. But they were steady, and they were real:

• I complained of stomach pain and heartburn, but I said I was fine.

• I missed school because I felt nauseous, but I didn’t want anyone to worry.

• I was called sensitive, dramatic, and too emotional, even though I was just overwhelmed.

• I tried to do everything right—to make everyone happy and never be a burden.

If this sounds like your daughter, your niece, or even your younger self—I want you to listen closely.

Because no one listened to me.And it wasn’t until I became an adult with chronic symptoms—daily migraines, IBS flares, anxiety, exhaustion—that I realized what had been going on all along.

These Warnings Can Look Like Everyday Teenage Issues:

• Frequent complaints of stomach aches, acid reflux, or nausea

• Feeling too “sick” to go to school but seeming fine hours later

• Overachieving in academics, sports, or family responsibilities

• Extreme emotional sensitivity or perfectionism

• Getting upset when others are upset—even if it’s not their fault

Why These Signs Matter—More Than You Think

She is communicating in the only way she knows how.And if she’s anything like I was, she doesn’t even realize she’s carrying emotional tension. She just knows her stomach hurts, and it won’t stop.

From Early Symptoms to Adult Pain: My Journey

Because no one helped me decode those early signs, they didn’t go away.They evolved.

What started as occasional nausea and heartburn became:

• Years of unexplained digestive issues

• Anxiety that felt like a constant undercurrent

• Migraines that interrupted my life

• A deep exhaustion I couldn’t explain

And the worst part? I still looked like I had it all together.I still smiled. Still functioned. Still took care of everyone else.

What You Can Do—Before It’s Too Late

If you’re raising, mentoring, or loving a young girl who seems like “she’s got it all together” but also keeps getting sick—don’t brush it off.

Ask questions like:

• “What’s been feeling heavy for you lately?”

• “Is there anything you’re worried about but haven’t said?”

• “Do you feel like you have to be perfect?”

Create safe space for her to talk. And if she can’t talk, give her other ways to express—writing, drawing, resting, moving, crying.

And most of all: believe her. Even if her symptoms don’t show up on a test, they are real.

Because I Wish Someone Had Noticed Sooner

I wish someone had connected the dots between my emotional life and my stomach pain.I wish someone had told me that I didn’t have to carry it all.I wish someone had seen my sensitivity as wisdom, not weakness.

If you see the signs, trust them.Before she becomes the grown woman still trying to heal from what no one helped her name.

Share. Be Heard. Heal.

—Dr. Su